WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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