i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
