the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
