i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
