Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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