did you get engaged???
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
