drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
