we have officially lost it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
