i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
