she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
