im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
