im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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