Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
