You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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