is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
