In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
