Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
