Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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