pop tarts are not kleenex
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
