thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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