I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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