I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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