look no pants
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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