He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
