Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
