Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
