what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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