I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
