Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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