Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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