Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
