Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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