You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
