I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
