i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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