I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
