I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
