what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
