I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
