I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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