Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
