I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
