ya dads aren't the best wingmen
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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