I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
