I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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