ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
