i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
