Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
