Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
