The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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